Yep you read the title right…. I haven’t written in the last two months because I accepted a part time position doing adoption work. For the last two months, my five hour a week position has been more like thirty hours. I have had the opportunity to work closely with a birth mom. My job was to help her through the adoption process, as she chose to pursue an adoption plan and to help her hopefully get back on her feet. I obviously can’t say much about her case but what I can say is this. She has more than one child and she doesn’t get to see them. I would like to believe that I have had a lasting impact on her life (of that I can’t be sure). What I do know for certain is that she has unknowingly had a lasting impact on mine.
I have been a Stay at Home Mom now for the last six years. I will confess to the whole world that I have not always been thankful for it. I get bored first of all. Second of all, I am a self-declared not so good house keeper. I think I had this picture of being a Stay at Home Mom in my brain that looked something like June Cleaver in Leave It To Beaver. My house would be perfectly clean, my hair would be in just the right place, a lovely gourmet dinner would be on the table every night and the house would be perfectly decorated. At the end of every day there would be some perfectly lovely lesson learned with my perfect little children going off to bed. The reality of staying at home looks something like me being in my favorite shorts and t-shirt, my hair being frazzled, I’m doing awesome to get my make up on, my house is some how always messy, even seconds after I clean it. I think the Tazmanian Devil is hiding in my house some where and comes out to mess things up as soon as I go to the bathroom. As far as dinner goes, I have become a pretty decent cook, but June’s food always looks much better than mine.
The third thing I always had messed up in my brain was this idea that my little darling children would always behave perfectly….now that one is pretty funny. Obviously, I was not seeing this in the Biblical truth that we are all born with a sinful nature. For my confession, sometimes my children really, really annoy me. I try not to show it, but sometimes it just comes pouring out all over their cuteness.
With that being said, the other day I was spending time with this lady on my case load. She is down on her luck for sure. Honestly, I don’t remember what brought it up. Something (probably stupid and insignificant because I can’t even remember what it was) had happened and I was feeling annoyed with my children when I saw her. I briefly mentioned that my little angels were driving me crazy and her reaction was something I will not soon forget. She said, “I wish I could be around my children long enough for them to annoy me.” She said, “Do you know I actually miss hearing them fight?”
I have not been able to get that statement out of my head. I have not seen my children’s fights and other things they do in the same way since I heard that statement. What must it be like to not be able to have the opportunity to become irritated with your children, because you simply don’t see them?
I used to think that I wasn’t all that blessed because we don’t have much money. I am realizing that God’s blessings come in all different shapes and sizes. Sure having money would be nice, but is that really what is important. I believe that one of the biggest blessings God has given me in my life is the opportunity to get annoyed. That’s right, I get to spend so much time with my beautiful children that they sometimes drive me nuts! The question I have been asking myself lately is would I trade my special opportunity to be annoyed for all the money in the world. The answer to that is clear to me. No I would not! I get the amazing blessing of really knowing these two sweet little people who God blessed me with. I get to hear them laugh and cry. I get to see them at their best and yes at their worst. I get to see them be silly and just be kids. I get to hear them fight with each other and love each other.
I wouldn’t give up the opportunity to get annoyed with my sweet kids for all the money in the world because every single moment I have with them are blessings. It’s just that sometimes the blessing is a little bit hard to recognize.