Are You In Need of Wisdom?

Are you in need of Wisdom?  It doesn’t matter what area of your life that you are in need of wisdom…it could be really in any area of your life.  For me, I have really needed wisdom in regards to how to help my son in one area in his life.  He has really struggled substantially with feeling mad about everything that didn’t go his way.  I’m not sharing this to get judged on my parenting skills.  Let me tell you, I am the first to admit that I am not the perfect parent.  This area of his life has been troubling to me.  I have so wanted to help him.  Telling a four year old that he shouldn’t be mad so much does absolutely no good (in fact when I have heard myself say that or something like that I usually feel like an idiot but out of desperation I say something along that line anyway).  I’ve really started praying and asking the Lord for wisdom as to how to help him.

The Bible says that whenever you need wisdom to ask God.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:5-6 NLT

According to the Bible, if you need wisdom and do not waver in your faith in God, He will give you wisdom generously!  It does not say he just gives you a tiny drop.  How awesome is it to know that God gives you wisdom generously.

Tonight as I was sitting in church, God really answered my prayer.  My heart cry has been God how do I help my son be happy and not upset all the time (when I say all the time, I really mean it).  I felt like God pinpointed an issue for me to help teach my son.  I felt like the Lord showed me that I need to teach my son to cultivate a thankful heart even when things aren’t going his way.  There is a lot of truth in this.  The start of having joy in your heart is being thankful.  Sometimes, when you really aren’t thankful you have to go back to the most basic things you can think of to be thankful for and work from there.

Let me tell you, it did not take long for me to put this new gem of wisdom into practice for my little guy.  We got in to the car and within a few seconds my son was mad at my daughter because she made a noise or something.  Really she doesn’t have to do much to make him mad.

Here it is, my open door…I asked my kids this question, “Hey guys what do you think the Bible says about how to have a happy heart even when you are maybe having a bad day?”

My son said, “I AM NEVER HAVING A HAPPY HEART AGAIN!”  At the moment, everything for him is going to last forever.

I said, “Boy buddy, that is a bummer. I don’t think that is what Jesus wants for you.”

My daughter said, “I think the Bible says to spend time with God to have a happy heart.”

I told her that she was right and it also says that Jesus wants us to be thankful.  I asked my son if he could think of one thing he was thankful for and he of course said, “I’m never going to be thankful again!”  Back to everything being forever…

I asked my daughter, “What is one thing you can think of that you are thankful for?”

She said, “I’m thankful for my new mermaid doll.”

I told her that is a great thing to be thankful for and told the kids that I am thankful for being their mommy because I think they are great.

We continued this activity for the rest of the car ride.  We started out taking turns naming something we were thankful.  Eventually my daughter was upset because my son wouldn’t stop naming all the things he had to be thankful for.  I reminded her that it is a good thing that he is so thankful and then helped her squeeze in why she was thankful.  When we got home, I asked him “How is your heart feeling son?”

He said, “Mommy I have a happy heart!”

Tonight, I am very thankful that God gave me wisdom as to how to help my son find reasons to have a happy heart.  Please know that I get that anger is a valid emotion but there is a point when it is ruling things and making you just flat out unhappy.  Unfortunately, that has been where my son has been and thus the reason for my concern for him.

I asked God and He gave me the wisdom to help my son.  I truly believe that although this will take time, with consistency he can learn to be thankful.  With thanksgiving, comes joy.

Whatever you need wisdom for today, remember to stop and ask God.  He’ll give it to you!

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Do You Want to Hear the Coolest Thing?

We go to church every Wednesday night.  It’s my favorite night of the week.  I absolutely love being in the house of the Lord but there was one Wednesday night in particular that was most special to me.  I took my two children to church on Wednesday as usual.

After church, my children absolutely love hanging out for a little while and playing on the play ground.  This Wednesday was no different.  My son was playing on the slide and I was shooting baskets with my daughter.  My son called me over to him and said, “Mommy, I need you to come here.”  In my mind, I was wondering if he was a bit jealous of me shooting hoops with my daughter, but I didn’t say it out loud.  I just went over to him and asked him what he needed (it is all of ten feet away, from the basketball hoop, in case you were thinking this was some long distance).

My son, just so you know just turned four years old.  He is sweet, smart and can be a bit of a pistol.

Anyway, he gleefully asked me, “Mommy, do you want to hear the coolest thing about Jesus?”

I was a little surprised by his question, but of course I said, “Yes, tell me son, what is the coolest thing about Jesus?”

He said, “Did you know that Jesus died just for me Mommy and if I pray and tell him I am sorry for the bad stuff I did, He will forgive me and he wants me to give him my whole life and if I do He will live in my heart and won’t remember the bad stuff I do sometimes.”

I fought back tears of joy as he was saying this to me, and calmly said, “You are right son, that is the coolest thing.”

He said, “Yay mommy it is the coolest thing ever.”

I asked him, “Are you thinking of giving your life to Jesus?”

He said, “Yep and I am going to do it right now, but I need your help Mommy.  I don’t know how.”

That night, sitting on the slide of my church, “I led my precious little boy in prayer to give his heart to Jesus.”  When we got home from church, he excitedly ran up to his daddy and told him. “Guess what Daddy?  I belong to Jesus now and He lives in my heart and He loves me sooo much!”

Jesus loves you too.  The coolest thing about Jesus is while we were still sinners Christ died for us.  The Bible says that when we surrender our lives to him, He forgives our sins and He adopts us as His sons or daughters.

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Popping the ME ME ME bubble

Are you like me?  Do you ever forget just how good you have it?  I do sometimes.  I tend to get swept away in my own thoughts, with my own problems, with my own life.  It is like a giant vacuum for me.  My brain gets so stuck on all the issues that I am dealing with in my own life, I forget about other people’s lives.

I see people every day and I don’t stop to think, what is your story?  What is going on in your life that is making you appear tired and frazzled?  What was it that caused you to lose your temper just now?  Is there anything I can do to help, even if it is to smile?

Sometimes, I think the good Lord wants to pop the giant bubble of “ME ME ME” that I have been residing in to wake me up to the issues going on in the people’s lives around me.  The other night, I went to a Pink Zebra Party.  I am not going to lie, it is my business, I was hoping for orders.  It ended up that only one person came.  This lady came not to buy Sprinkles (although she loves them).  She came because she was tired and stressed.  She needed a break!  She has four children.  I knew she needed a break.  I thought that she needed it simply because she has four children and every mom needs a rest once in a while.

As we spent the evening chatting, she started to open up as to why she was so tired.  The evening was May 2.  Her rent was due May 1.  She did not have the money to pay the rent.  She and her family have been having substantial financial struggles for a long time.  The family has been subsiding on pasta and potatoes for months, because it is all they can afford.  She is worried about how her children are going to eat in the summer, since right now they eat at school for two meals a day.  In their school district, you can get free meals in the summer only if you are more than 250% below the poverty line.  She has substantial physical issues as well, making her too weak to cook or to clean.  Her husband has had to do all of that stuff for years.

My friend that hosted the party and I prayed for her, loved on her, packed up as many groceries as we could and did our best to help her in some small way.  I took her home and helped her bring the bags of groceries into her home.  It made me tear up as the children met us at the door and excitedly said, “Yay we get to eat this week.”  My heart sunk.  The idea that these kids did not actually know if they would get to eat!  I realize hunger is very real in the world, but this was a stark reminder of how blessed I really am.

If you want to help people in this situation and help insure they get to eat, bring some food to your local food bank.  Donations are usually higher over the holidays, but people need to eat year around.

https://communityfoodbank.com/

Tonight, I am going to hug and kiss my husband and kids.  Then I will Thank God for blessing my family.  I will also go donate some food.  May you all be blessed.

Kindergarten Graduation

The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster.  We have been working to wrap up the kindergarten school year with my daughter.  The year has been full of both victories and struggles.  I have seen her catch on to some things quickly and other things have been an absolute battle!  For Michaela, math has been easy.  In fact, we still have three weeks left of kindergarten, but she has been done with her math books for a couple of weeks.  She just decided to get it done and she did.

Reading has not been like that at all!  It has been hard.  It has involved tears.  It has involved changing curriculum mid way through.  It has involved a lot of work.  Some small victories, and my daughter just not wanting to do it.  She often complained that it is hard.  We decided that she is right, it is hard.  So we decided to reward her for trying her best to read (not reading correctly, but just reading with a good heart).  We set up a sticker chart and rewarded her with a new book of her choice when she filled her chart.  At first, this was effective to end the fighting.  Gradually, it changed to my daughter looking forward to getting a sticker and counting down to her next book.  I also slowed way down and repeated pages for months on end.  All of a sudden, it seemed to be easier.  Now she is actually reading.  To see her face light up when she realized she just read an entire story without having to sound out words, was an amazing moment.  It was probably the most satisfying moment I have ever had in regards to seeing work that we have done paying off.

My girl has learned so much this year and changed so much this year.  That it really does blow my mind.  It makes me feel like all of the crazy sacrifices to actually homeschool her has been worth the investment.  I feel honored to have the opportunity to play such an integral part in her education.

Needless to say, this past week as I have prepared and helped plan her kindergarten graduation, I have been a bit of an emotional wreck!  My baby is growing up!  How is it possible?  It feels like yesterday that she was born.

Congratulations to my sweet daughter.  This is just the beginning and I am preparing my heart to enjoy the ride.

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They grow up so very fast.

Mom’s Night Out….my first movie review

This is obviously not a new movie, in fact I watched it for the first time last night on television.  I don’t normally get to see movies when they first come out unless they are cartoons like Frozen these days, but regardless of this movie being older I still feel the urge to tell people about it.

I am of the feeling that every tired mom should take some time and watch this movie!  Seriously ladies, it will help.  It was like medicine for a weary soul!!  First of all, the movie is ridiculously funny and if you have ever had children you will be able to relate.  The movie is also really clean.  If you are like me, you don’t want your children to be exposed to movies with violence and curse words at such a young age.  You can watch this with your kids in the room and not worry about content.  More than that the movie was very encouraging to moms every where.  Is it super deep, no not really, but it is entertaining, encouraging and clean.

This is coming from a mom that went to the grocery store at nine at night the other day, without the kids and it felt like a vacation!  I needed something funny and encouraging to watch.  This fit the bill perfectly.   Moms everywhere, rent this movie!  If nothing else, you will get a good laugh and I don’t know if there is anything better.

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Finding Something Of My Own

I used to be a social worker.  I always wanted to go into Social Work.  I have always had a heart to serve and help the community.  It was something that I dreamed of doing as a child.  It was a big deal for me when I decided to leave my career behind (at least for now) and stay at home with my children.  In the course of working in the field of adoption, I realized the importance of being a mother.  I wanted to give my own children what the children that I worked with each day did not have.

When I decided to stay at home, I had a romantic notion of what it would be like.  Picture Leave It Beaver….. The house was going to be spotless each day, the children of course would obey perfectly, a perfect dinner would be on the table each night.   I am not sure what planet I was living on when I actually thought this would be what life was like, but reality soon followed, and so did the yoga pants.  My house is not perfectly clean, in fact it is usually the opposite.  I get one room clean and feel pretty excited, just to walk in to the next room and discover my sweet darling children have messed it up!  I am doing good to just maintain things.  Dinner is generally on the table each night, but I confess sometimes it is pizza or chicken nuggets.  Coming into reality was difficult.

I would say the hardest thing for me is this feeling that I have no idea what I accomplished today.  I  was ending each day and I wouldn’t have the first clue what I did that day.  I was busy, but what did I actually accomplish? I cleaned the dishes but thirty minutes later it looks like I haven’t done them in a week.  I would clean the living room and thirty minutes later there are toys out as far as the eye can see (this is improving as my kids are getting older).  The stuff I had to do each day was painfully mundane.  I also struggled with a distinct feeling of isolation.  I didn’t really talk to adults.  The extent of my conversation was at a two year old level.  I struggled emotionally a lot!  There was the part of me that was incredibly thankful for getting to spend so much time with my children and there was the other part of me that was fighting off depression.  Then as ridiculous as this sounds, I would feel horribly guilty for feeling depressed (I should be happy, I am with my babies) that I would actually get more depressed.  I really felt trapped.  My entire life now revolved around the kids and cleaning house, to the point that I could hardly remember who I was and what I enjoyed.  I some how gave up every hobby and interest that I had, outside of Jesus and my family.

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I read articles that would knock Stay at Home Mom’s for complaining.  These articles did not help me when I was struggling.  In fact, they did the opposite.  I started to pray and as I prayed I started to realize more and more that I was not trapped at all.  I started to see that I needed to have stuff in my life that had nothing to do with my kids or the dishes.  Things that I do just out of sheer enjoyment.   I gradually started putting things back into my life that I enjoy.  I found as I did that, the emotional struggles went away.  I am happy to be a mother, but I needed something that was mine.

I have this to say to you Stay at Home Moms that might be having a similar issue and to those mom’s considering becoming a SAHM.  Make sure you keep things in your life that are yours!  I don’t know what those things are, only you know what they are.  For me, I write this blog, I run my own small business, I get together with friends and I am involved with my church family.  For you, it may be different but you need to have those things for yourself.  Those things you can go to for a rest.  When you have little ones in your home, it is really easy to allow all of your attention and energy to go to your kids.  Your primary job does not stop, you are a mommy 24/7, being this fact it is all the more important to keep those things in your life that brings you joy and rest.

To All the Mom’s

When I had my children, my husband and I had to start making choices.  We made choices according to what we felt were important.  Many of those choices involved making sacrifices, as we have all made for our kids.  We decided together that I would stay at home with the children, we decided together to home school our kids, we decided that I would nurse the kids, and the list goes on and on.  Each of those decisions are highly personal decisions.  They were made according to what fit our family.   In all likelihood, you and your family have made different decisions for your family for your own reasons.  Guess what, good for you!  Make those decisions and do best by your kids.

I sometimes get tired of the constant criticism that flows out of people regarding the choices we moms make for our children and our family.  These criticisms come no matter what decisions you make as a parent.  If you are a working mother, the criticism comes from the side that would argue that you aren’t spending enough time with your kids.  If you are a SAHM the criticism comes from people who foolishly think all we do all day is sit at home in our yoga pants, eating bon bons and watching our favorite soap opera.

It is ridiculous to criticize each other all the time ladies!  I don’t care if you stay at home, if you nurse, if you work, what type of school you have your children in, etc. It doesn’t really matter!!  We made decisions according to what our individual families needed at the time.  Most of us are probably willing to change those decisions if or when we realize what decided on really is not working.

I think we can all agree that 99% of us are doing our absolute best to do what we believe is in the best interest of our children and our individual families.  We have all had our kids have melt downs at embarrassing very public places, making you feel like crawling under a rock.  We have all had those nights when our little ones threw up all over the house at 3 a.m.  We have all had those days when we experience sheer exhilaration and joy at watching our children finally accomplish that one thing that they have struggled with.  We have all been exceedingly happy and exceedingly tired at the same time, which is really hard to explain.

Ladies, let’s stop the madness.  Let’s support each other and encourage one another, not beat down each other because we’ve made different decisions!  We need to show each other love, we need to build each other up when we are feeling beat down (not pick up a bigger bat) and we need to be each other’s cheering section.